Who Knows Anything? The blog of Chip Gallent. eBusinessman.

13Jul/070

What People Say During a Colonoscopy

Posted by Chip

Colonoscopies are no joke, and everyone over 40 should have one, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.....

Crazy Doctor

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

  1. You're a Trekie arent you Doc? Cause you're boldly going where no man has gone before!
  2. Find Amelia Earhart yet?
  3. Can you hear me NOWWWW?
  4. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
  5. You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.
  6. Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?
  7. You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...
  8. Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!
  9. If your hand doesn't fit, you must QUIT!
  10. Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.
  11. You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?
  12. God, now I know why I am not gay.
    And the best one of all...
  13. Hey Doc...Could you write a note for my wife, saying that my head is not up there?
Filed under: That's Life No Comments
11Jul/070

True Collaboration

Posted by Chip

iPhoneHere's a great article about people coming together to figure something out:

Notes from DevCamp: Developers tackle iPhone Apps

It's amazing what can be done when there is a common goal.

Filed under: Inspiration No Comments
9Jul/070

Business Lessons Remembered

Posted by Chip

When I was beginning my business career, I worked for my father. His company did business all over the world and from time to time, he brought in consultants to help with certain projects. When this happened, I was usually assigned to be their aide and travel with them so I could learn as much as possible.

One time, Dad hired a retired Rear Admiral from the US Navy. He had a very distinguished career and was an excellent teacher. I remember being out on a road trip with him and we had many chances to sit and talk. The thing I remember most were his three lessons of being a leader in the Navy:

1. Learn from the Master Chiefs.
2. Never eat before your troops eat.
3. Never ask someone to do something you're not willing to do yourself.

So, how do these apply to the real world?

1. There are Master Chief's all around us. These guys are the lifers in the Navy, they are the ones who get stuff done and know how everything works. I heard that you have to have a minimum of 15-20 years in before you earn this rank. There are a lot of people older and more experienced than you are who can teach you things and give you a different perspective on stuff. Use them.

2. You have to take #2 figuratively. I like to think of this in terms of "stuff". You've seen the executive who always has the latest and greatest and their staff always has the hand-me-downs. It's almost demoralizing, isn't it? It's one thing if it's a tool or something needed to conduct business. But, flagrantly waving the hottest new phone or laptop around and then turning around and asking for budget cuts is no way to lead.

3. This one really needs no further explanation. Remember that there is a huge difference between leading and managing. Leaders inspire - managers control.